An English lawyer went duck hunting in Truro . He shot and dropped a
bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I
shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not
coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in
England and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Cornwall . We settle small disagreements like this
with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get
to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and
so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work
boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from
his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to
his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very
slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.
When you're intelligent, you know which half.
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