A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said

'I want to be a movie star.'

Tall, handsome and experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, 'What's your name?'

The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'

The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name.'

'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will
not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'

The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will
NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling
you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent
you.'

'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he
left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER...

The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a
letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly
send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...

'Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an
actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to
make it with my God given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never
make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your
office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to
change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed
with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so
the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke'